Open Hands

The past month has been so busy and hectic! The month started with Mike's birthday on June 2nd. We celebrated his birthday with his family on June 6th--he got two great suits from his dad so he will be all set for interviews when he starts looking for positions as a pastor come Januaryish. Let me tell you--he looks HOT in them, whew I have to fan myself just thinking about it! ;) His mom also took him shopping for some shirts and pants. I happened to get a couple new dresses on our shopping adventrure too, that was a treat! This past weekend we celebrated Mike's birthday with my family. We had dinner at my parent's house--salmon one of Mike's favorites! It was certainly a treat because I am not a salmon fan and do not plan on ever cooking it--I don't want my house smelling like fish--icky! He got a couple shirts from my parents to go with his suits, I got him a tie (black and pink) for when he comes to Mary Kay events with me, and my sister and her boyfriend gave Mike the hacksaw he has been wanting for months. I believe one of his favorite gifts was a pair of nurf dart guns also from my parents--thankfully they bought two so I can "defend" myself. Right when he opened them, he continued to take one out of it's packaging and I enlisted Rod (my sister's boyfriend) to help me unpack the other. A nurf dart war then ensued for at least 20 minutes--we had fun and I made the rule that he couldn't shoot me in the face. I know, where's the fun in that right? I'd have to say that Mike did pretty well with keeping the birthday celebration going for most of the month.

We also had our last homegroup meeting (Bible study group) at the beginning of the month and enjoyed food and fellowship. We are taking a break for the summer and will start up again at the end of August or beginning of September. This break is especially good becuase of Mike's schedule. He is taking both sessions of summer school at the seminary--6 classes total! Thankfully they broke up evenly 3 each session. He had an imense amount of work to do first session. One class was an independent study so he had extra work due to missing class time. He's also had a Satuturday class for the past several weeks that will end this weekend. It consists of 3 days of class all day on Saturday and then a 4 hr. class on Friday night this week. If that doesn't sound busy enough the second session started this week and he will be having class every Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday night from 6-10. The blessing on this is that only one of his classes started this week--the other two will start next week and the week after. Praise God for that bit of a relief in timing!!!!

I have been pretty busy myself, mostly looking for a second job. I went to Tucson the second weekend of this month for a day to visit one of my long time friends Angella. We spend most of the day together chatting, hiking and eating. I have been telling her for a long time that I would come visit, and I finally made good on my promise! It always seems like Tucson is so much farther away than it really is, that's something I'll have to remember for future visits.



I have also been learning to hold my hands open to God in surrender rather than clenching them in fists, trying to keep control of everything. It's funny because that used to be something that I was decent at, and within the last couple of months I've not been walking nearly as close to God as I would like and because of that I don't get filled by the Spirit. Instead I've been looking to Mike, family, shopping and friends to fill the empty space. Tuesdy mornings are very special to me, it's when our church has our women's Bible study groups and they have a new leadership development class that I'm taking called WILD (Women in Leadership Development). Our class is broken down into groups of 3 so you can really get to know each other, have accountability and really go deep. For this spring semester it has been such a blessing and something I have come to treasure--especially the women in my group. Little did I realize at the time, that I was being filled by them and now that we have broken for the summer, I realized how empty I'd become and what a mistake I'd made. For the past two months, I seem to have been on a downward spiral of hopelessness. God was silent and I couldn't feel His presence--but how could I if I was only crying out periodically? I had no consistency in seeking and listening for Him. I wanted things to happen quickly and I am once again learing the lesson that God's timing is perfect--in all circumstances! Thankfully I have had some wise women speak truth into my life when they could see me unraveling and listen to my pain, even though the answer was simple--seek God and TRUST Him, He will provide. His provision comes in so many forms. Recently it's come in these wise women's word's to me. I didn't realize how tightly I had been holding my grasp for control. Now I am working on surrendering everythig--job, finances, time with Mike, my business, looking for a job, etc. I know His timing will be right, and as I wait patiently (hopefully) I'll look to Him to fill my needs rather than to the things of this world. Yeserday, I just started Beth Moore's newest Bible study: Esther--It's Tough Being a Woman and I know that once again, God's timing is perfect.